iLose
by Kpfan72491
Summary: Sam is going to a dark place. A place she never thought she would have to go through. What if Sam looked in the mirror and didn't like the person she saw. All thanks to her family, she's going through this alone. Or will a certain tech wiz help her.
1. There's Nothing Wrong with Eating Bacon

**IMPORTANT: Hey Guys. Me Kpfan72491 here again. So this story is probably the most important to me so far. Why? Because it hits close to home. I had the type eating disorder Sam is going through in this fic. Some of the things Sam is going to be going through, I went through. It is a Seddie but Seddie is not the main concept of this story. You will see later in this story what Sam sees. Later I will be putting it in Sam's POV. Until then it will be in General. Also ****Yes I know it's been done and if you know me then you know I don't like a broken record. But this fic will be nothing like you read before.** **You'll see the aftermath of this issue.**** WARNING I also if you don't want to read a story this descriptive about the mind of someone with an eating disorder then please hit the back button. But I hope you really like this story.(: So please Read and review and NO FLAMES. Enjoy iLose**

**I do not own iCarly. I only own the idea behind this story.**

**~*~**

First days of school always bring a lot of pressure on students. The pressure of who has the cutest clothes, who has the darkest tan, who met the cutest guys, and who last the most weight. Let's just say that high school is a jungle. A jungle that Sam Puckett did not want to be a part of. She could care less about what people wore, how dark they got, who they made-out with, and how much weight people lost.

Sam opened her locker, shoving a low-fat fatcake in her mouth. She grabbed her notebook out from her backpack and placed it in her locker. She watched the preppy school girls tell their summer stories to their brainless followers. Sam scoffed closing her locker. She slid down waiting for her best friends. Sam just stared at her beat up old converses. She noticed that she had another pair of shoes next to hers. She didn't look up but she knew who it was. She saw the person move and sat next to her. "Sup Freddork. Seen Carly around?" Sam took another bite into her fatcake.

Freddie watched Sam maul her fatcake. "Not much. You know how first days are." He sighed "And as for Carly… She's flirting with Chris Burton. She says she'll see us at lunch."

"Aw Fweddie." Sam said in a baby voice. "Are you sad that Carly is never going to love you? Or any girl for that matter." Sam smirked.

"Okay first of all Princess Puckett, I'm over Carly. Second, Girls who are rude don't get food." Freddie held up a bag of bacon.

Sam's eyes widen "Wow Freddie have I told you today that you look completely HOT!" Sam grabbed the bag full of bacon and started eating it.

Freddie chuckled as he watched Sam eat the bag of bacon. He has been bringing Sam something for Sam every morning since mid last year. It was those little moments like that that made him happy. He wouldn't say this out loud, mainly because Sam wouldn't feel the same, but he had developed feelings for the long haired blonde sitting next to him. She was perfect to him, with all her flaws.

"It bites that Carly ditches us for Chris Burton." Sam said with a mouth full of bacon.

Freddie smiled "Well I don't mind the company" He leaned in towards Sam playfully nudging her.

"Me either… even if it is with a nub like you" Sam and Freddie laughed. Sam offered Freddie a slice of bacon.

"Yuck! No wonder she's so fat. Look at her stuffing her face with all that bacon" A skinny preppy girl said to her follower pointing at Sam.

Freddie saw in Sam's eyes that she was angry. "Sam don't listen to them. They're just jealous." He whispered in Sam's ear. "Come one. Let's go to class" He stood up and offered his hand to help her up.

Sam took Freddie's up and stood up. "Just a sec. I got some business to take care of." Sam ran towards the preppy girls.

Freddie heard a bunch of high pitch screams. He saw Sam run back. "Sam… What did you do?"

"Let's just say I took out the _trash_." Sam said with a smirk. Sam and Freddie laughed and headed to their homeroom together.

~*~

**So that is the first chapter. Important note… Freddie giving Sam food is VERY important in this story. You'll see what I mean later. So please review now. The faster you do that faster I put it up. (: KP out**


	2. Time To Be a Man

**Hey Guys. I am so happy with the reviews I got and the alerts so thank you very much. I will say this now, the more reviews I get, the faster I will update. So please review and No Flames. So if you thought there was a lot of Seddie last chapter, then you will love this chapter. I'm trying to put more Seddie before the drama starts in the next chapter. So please enjoy chapter 2.**

**I do not own iCarly… Dan does :/**

**~*~**

After fourth period, Sam and Freddie headed towards the cafeteria. They walked over to their usual table. They wanted to wait for Carly so they could get lunch together. Sam sighed of boredom waiting for Carly. Her stomach started growling loud enough for Freddie to hear. "Dang Sam, go get something to eat."

Sam shook her head "Nah, I can wait."

Freddie looked shocked "Oh. My. God. It must be a miracle" Freddie stood up on the lunch table "Everyone" all the students looked at Freddie. "Sam Puckett can wait to get her food." Freddie yelled dramatically. The whole cafeteria grew quiet then a loud gasp escaping everyones mouths filled the room.

"Okay, Sir Dorks-a-Lot" Sam pulled Freddie down. "No need to go all 'All my Children' on me" She giggled.

Freddie laughed "Okay, but it's a little shocking. I would have thought that as soon as I said go get lunch, you would have ran towards the lunch line before I even finished my sentence."

Sam smirked "Well maybe I wanted to keep you comp…" Before Sam could finish. They heard someone saying her name over and over again,

"Sam, Sam, Sam, I was just wondering if you'd…"

"No Nosby Mosby. I will not go out with you again. Not for all the foreign bacon in the world. I broke up with you for a reason…. The bacon stopped coming. And you just can't gain the trust back."

"Alright, but at least let me walk you home."

Freddie put his arm around the big nose geek. "Listen Mosby. I'm sure you and Sam had… interesting moments together. But I think Sam is over those moments. And besides… I'm already walking Sam home from school today after school. …Right Sam?" Freddie looked at Sam.

Sam jaw was hanging low. She snapped out of her little trance remembering that Freddie had asked her a question. "Ri… right. Sorry Nosby." Mosby just stood there looking at Sam. "Nosby LEAVE." Mosby left all sad looking at the ground. Sam rolled her eyes. "That's was a close one. Um… thanks for helping me back there."

"No problem… So you want me to meet me by your locker after school?" Freddie smiled.

"You really want to walk me home?" Sam was shocked. _'Is even possible that he likes me back? Nah he's just being a good friend'_

"Of coarse"

Sam smiled "Um sure. Meet me by my locker."

"Hey guys" Sam and Freddie turned their heads seeing Carly walk towards them. "I am so a million times sorry you guys. Mr. Howard kept our class longer because someone sneezed. And guess who it was? … Germy.

Sa, spoke first."It's okay Carls. But let's get our food. I am starving." Sam ran towards the lunch line.

~*~

Freddie waited by Sam's locker. Carly had told him in the morning that she had an welcome back to school student council meeting. _'Okay Freddie. Today you will ask Sam Puckett out on a date. You will be a man and suck up all of your insecurities.' _He thought to himself.

"Freddie? Ready to go?"

Freddie was taken back. He jumped as he heard the familiar voice. Freddie turned around and saw his blonde headed best friend/crush. "What?"

Sam cleared her throat. "I said. 'Frednub. Ready. To. Goooooooo?"

"Uh yeah" He walked towards the school's double doors. He held open the door for Sam. "After you"

Sam walked out of the school. Freddie walked next to Sam. They walked in silence for about five minutes. Freddie to break the awkward silence between them two."Sooo? Ouf …ow" He tripped on his shoe laces. Sam laughed really hard for what seems liked hours to Freddie.

Sam giggles died down a little. She held out her hand. "You okay?" Sam said chuckling.

Freddie grabbed her hand and laughed "Yeah. I'm okay." He stood up. They stood there staring at each other still holding hands. After about a minute they pulled away. "Sorry" They both said at the same time.

They continued to work. They talked and talked. Sam made jokes at Freddie and Freddie laughed at them. The made it to Sam's house. "Thanks again Fredward."

"No Problem." They both stood there staring at each other again for about like the million time today. "So I was wondering…." _'This is it Freddie. Your moment to shine. Be a man." _If you'd like to…" _'Be a man not a nub. Just ask her already.' _"go to the movie Saturday" Sam smiled big _'YES YOU ARE THE…' _"withmeandCarly… you know after iCarly." '_wimp.' _

Sam smiled dropped. "Um.. uh yeah sure Freddie. Well I have to get in. Bye Freddie." Sam quickly went inside and slammed the door. "Stupid, stupid, stupid" Sam said hitting her head on her front door."

"Stupid, stupid, stupid" Freddie slapped his forehead. "Sam's right. I am a nub" Freddie started walking home.

~*~

**That's the end of Chapter 2. Tell me what you think. The drama really starts next in the next chapter. (:**


	3. It Has to Start Somewhere

**Hey guys. Sorry I didn't update sooner, but I was at my cousin's house all weekend and I was trying to write with him around but just couldn't. But it doesn't matter because here it is. :D I hope you guys like it. But this chapter is where the drama starts and this is where how it starts to be like how it happened with me. Sam's mom is like my dad, Sam's Aunt is like my sister. And Sam's cousin is like my mom. It Sam sees OOC, well you kind of have to figure because of the type of story. And for those who saw "iSpace Out" didn't you love Sam's line "Why you so stupid" haha it was awesome. **

**The disclaimer is that I do not own iCarly. If I did my Seddie/Jathan dream I had the other day would really happen. But I do own the inspiration for the characters in this chapter. I also own the names Andrea, Bill, and Frankie.**

**~*~**

**Sam's POV**

Ugh! Stupid dork. I thought he was actually going to ask me out. I know what you're thinking, 'Sam Puckett liking Freddie Benson will never happen in a million years. Right?' Well wrong, Freddie and I have actually grown closer over the past couple of months. Sure he's still a nub, but he's a cute nub. But since what just happened twenty seconds ago, he's less cute and more of a nub.

I walked into the living room. I saw my lazy mother and pregnant Aunt Andrea watching TV. You see my Aunt Andrea is only 6 years older than me. Yeah I know gross. That makes me wonder about my grandparents… yuck. So anyway, she's getting a divorce from her husband Bill (the jackass). So until she finds an apartment, she's staying with us. "Mom… Aunt Preggers. What smells so good?"

No answer. It's like I'm invisible. Andrea rolled her eyes. "Frankie is making your favorite. Ham and mash potatoes" I grinned. Frankie knows me so well. Frankie is my older cousin. Well actually he's my Mom's cousin, but still, he's still my cousin. Ever since my dad left us, he's been helping us out a lot.

"Dinner's ready" I heard Frankie yell from the kitchen.

He didn't have to tell me twice. I ran into the kitchen. I grabbed a plate and my silver wear. I started to serve myself. I grabbed a large slice of ham. I had to make sure I the edge with the little bit of fat. Frankie knew that was my favorite part of the ham. I put half a plate of mash potatoes onto my plate and grabbed a can of Pepi Cola out of the fridge and ran into the dining room. I sat in my usual seat and started to dig in.

Andrea sat across from me with only a tiny slice of ham and a little bit of mash potatoes. I hate how she is almost 7 months pregnant and you can barely tell that she's pregnant. I mean seriously, I thought women were supposed to get all big and eat for two. Andrea looked at me with discuss. "Gross. Sam you're eating like pig."

My mother walked in the dining room. She sat the head of the table, "That's because she is one." I ignored her little comment and continued to eat. "If she keeps eating like that, she won't me a pig" my mom paused "She'll be a cow." Okay… that got my attention. Andrea and my mom busted out laughing.

Oh I was mad. How dare she? But I'll be damned if she sees my anger this early in the game. "You're one to talk mom. When was the last time you fit into a size 14?" '_Game, set, match mom_.' I thought to myself. I smirked as I drink my soda. I knew I won this round.

My mom chuckled. Wait WHAT!!!!!!!!!! Why is she chuckling? You don't chuckle when you just lost. "Sweetie, I might be fat and I fine with that. But with your hips, tummy, and ass, if you keep eating like you do you are going to be worst than me. And then everyone will be calling you Shamoo and feeding you fat cakes."

GR. I. HATE. THAT. WOMAN. "Go to hell mom." I got up and ran upstairs. I slammed my bedroom door and put my PearPod into my PearHome. (**A/N Like the iHome**) I turned the volume all the way up so I could block out their laughter. I could feel my eyes watering up and I felt a huge lump in my throat. But I wasn't going to cry. It's not worth it.

I walked over to fall length mirror. I looked at myself. '_I'm not fat… am I?_' I thought to myself. '_No Sam. Your mom is a bitch. She's trying to break you." _I know I'm not fat, but maybe a diet wouldn't be so bad. I could even join a sport. That way I can sweat the fat off.

I grabbed my PJ's and changed into them. I put my hair up into a ponytail and got into my bed. I don't care if it is too early, I'm going to bed. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

I closed my eyes and opened them quickly. I heard my ringtone to 'Naturally' "Ugh! What does Freddie want now? He already humiliated me today."

I grabbed my phone from my night stand. I flipped in open and saw he sent me a text.

**From: Freddork**

**Carly can't make it 2 the movies Sat.**

**So it's jst the 2 of us (:**

**Tech Wiz Freddie**

"YES!" I smiled as I closed my eye and went to sleep.

~*~

I heard my alarm from my phone. I turned it off still half asleep. I got out of bed and picked out a pair of my jeans and my 'Uncle Female' Penny tee. I put on my shirt and jeans, but something wasn't right. My jeans were too tighter than usual. "I can't go to school like this."

I took my jeans off and pulled put a pair of sweat pants. "Yeah this diet is definitely a good idea."

I put them on and brushed my hair. I ran downstairs and grabbed my backpack. I opened the front door. "Hey what about breakfast" I heard Frankie yell.

"Sorry, I'm late." I ran out the door. I wasn't late and besides, why would I care if I was late. I just don't need to ruin my diet.

~*~

I walked into school and saw Carly and Freddie standing by your locker. "Hey Carls, Fredweird"

"Hey"

"Hola"

I chuckled. I love his random Spanish. "Sup?"

"Nothing. Oh look there's Chris, He asked me out to go to the amusement park on Saturday. Later guys."

"Later" I turned to Freddie. '_Wow Freddie looks so cute with his hairs brushed and his… wait Sam focus. He'll notice you're drooling.' _"So I'm guessing that's why she can't make it."

Freddie face dropped. He looked really nervous. "Haha… um… yeah… ha… ha." Freddie got something out his backpack. "I brought you a fat cake." He had his signature smiles."

I almost grabbed it but remembered my diet. I frowned. "Um sorry Freddie. My cousin made me a big breakfast this morning."

His smile turned into a frown. I hated lying to him. "Oh…. Okay. So how about I walk you home again?" He smiled

"Can't. I joined the volleyball team." Once again he had the frown. "Btu you can come and watch and walk me home after practice." I smiled

His frowned turned into a smile "Sounds like a plan." The bell rang. "Come one let's get to homeroom"

This day is going to be perfect.

~*~

**How did you like it? Please review. No Flames. Please follow me on twitter KPFan72491. And watch my blog on youtube my username is kimmiecubb09. Later readers.**


	4. My Dream to a Nightmare

**Hey guys. I'm sorry for the late update. I've been busy studying for my Criminology midterm. Stupid college. Also yesterday Nathan Kress did his Q & A and he actually answered my question I was so happy so I decided to write chapter faster. Also I've been having these day dreams about a new fanfiction. So I decided to write it. I haven't started. But I will soon. It might be called "iMessed Up" but not sure yet. I'm not going to say what it's about yet. I want it to be a surprise. I even have an idea for a sequel for it. So my main focus will be school, "iGuilty Pleasure", "iLose" and "iMessed Up". I also want to thank everyone who reviewed. Also to someone that I'm actually helping. I'm not going to say who. But please read and review. No Flames. And also follow me on twitter kpfan72491, on youtube as kimmiecubb09, and on formspring as kpfan72491. **

**P.S. There is a Kim Possible reference in here :D**

**I do not own iCarly, the Memo Pad**

**~*~**

**Sam P.O.V.**

So it's been a couple of days since I started my diet, and I have to say, I'm loving the results. The jeans that were too tight the other day fit a lot better now. Carly and Freddie were shocked all week that I've been eating salads and fruit. I told them that my doctor wants me to eat healthier. It was so hard to give up ham, bacon, and fatcakes. Trust me, it was not easy. But I have to do this.

I also have been doing great on the volleyball team. I think that's why I've been losing the weight fast. We actually won our first game. I don't really like the girls on the teams, but I don't play for them, I play for myself… and my hips.

So here I was, getting ready to go to the movies with Freddie. I was really nervous. Freddie and I have been flirting a lot lately… Well I have been flirting with him at least. There are times that it seems that he is flirting with me back. We don't even fight as much anymore. However, there are times that we still do. Like when I was late for iCarly yesterday. Freddie was really mad, so I told him not to keep it anti-bacterial underpants in a bunch. He then called me a 'Blonde Headed Demon.' Then I explained to him that I was late because I had a game and it went into over time He then apologized, which is a first. I never expected Freddie to ever EVER say he was sorry to me. So to make up for it, he said he'll pay for everything tonight. HA! Like he wasn't going to pay for it no matter what.

I actually wanted to look nice tonight. I know it's not a date but I still want Freddie to like me. So I put on a red tank top, ripped up jean shorts, and my checkered Van high tops. I looked in the mirror, and for a second I thought I looked fine, but I noticed my shirt was too tight. I looked like a cow. I hurried and went to my closet and grabbed my white hoodie. It wasn't that cold. Thankfully the sleeves went down to the elbow.

I heard the doorbell. I heard my cousin open the front door. "Sam, Freddie's here." Frankie yelled. I quickly rebrushed my hair. "SAMANTHA JOY, GET YOU BUTT DOWN HERE."

I walked out of my room. "I'm coming, I'm coming." I yelled coming downstairs. I saw Freddie by the door. Oh my gosh, he looked so cute in his blue polo shirt. "Hi." I said smiling.

He looked nervous. I wonder if Frankie has something to do with it, "H… hey um… ready to go?"

I nodded. I walked next to him. I grabbed his arm and hurried out the door. "Bring her home in ten minutes." We heard my cousin yell.

"Um… he's not the cousin who has been in prison right?"

I laughed "Ha no…" I heard Freddie sighed with relief. "Well at least not yet anyway." I smirked. I heard Freddie gulp. I love rattling his cage.

We walked to the movies. We wanted to see the 'Memo Pad' **(referring to the 'Notebook'. I don't own the 'Memo Pad' because it was use in Kim Possible :D) **so we can make fun of the saps and their date. Freddie bought our tickets and gave me cash to buy anything I wanted in the snack line. If I was a week ago, I would have bought everything in the glass window, the biggest tub of popcorn all for myself. But I was trying to lose weight. So instead, I decided to buy a medium popcorn with no butter for both Freddie and I, soda for him, and water for myself. I grabbed our food and walked to Freddie.

"Sam I would think you would buy me something."

"Chillax Fredward." I smiled "I got us popcorn to share. And I even bought you a drink."

Freddie looked shocked "Th… thanks"

We got into the theatre. We sat towards the back. When the movie started, I started hitting people with popcorn. I reached for some more popcorn to actually eat and I accidently touched Freddie's hand. I pulled away blushing. After about a minute, I grabbed some more and threw it at a couple that were three rows in front of us. I went to go get more but I was stopped. I felt a warm hand holding mine. I looked and saw Freddie holding my hand. I felt his warm breath on my ear. "Sam, please just watch and enjoy the movie." I nodded and watched the movie. The strange thing is, Freddie never let go of my hand. Hey I wasn't complaining.

We finished the movie. It was actually really good. I cried a little at the end.

Freddie and I stood up. We walked out of the theatre, no longer holding hands. We got outside and started walking back to my house. I felt the breeze on my exposed skin. I started to shiver. I crossed my arms to keep myself warm.

"Are you cold?"I heard Freddie ask me.

"Yeah, just a little." I answered.

I felt that arms got warmer. Freddie put his jacket over my shoulders. "There. Better?" He flashed his million dollar smile.

I smiled back at him. "Much. Thanks"

We walked a little more. We were around the corner from my house. Freddie looked at me. "Sam?"

I looked at him "Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you would like to go out next weekend?"

I stopped dead on my tracks and looked at him. "You mean like me, you, and Carly right?"

Freddie shook his head. "No. Like you and me." Oh my gosh. Pinch me, I must be dreaming. "The truth is, when I asked to hang out tonight, I really wanted it to be just you and me. But I chickened out and included Carly in it. But I also lied, I never asked Carly to come long. So it worked out for the better that she had a date tonight." We started walking again.

"Wow! Really?" I was in utter shock.

We reached my doorstep. Freddie turned to face me. "Yes really. Because the fact of the matter is, Sam I really like you."

OH. MY. GOD. If this is a dream, please dear god DO NOT wake me up. "I like you too and I would love to gout on a date with you next weekend."

Freddie smiled at me. He put his hands on my cheeks. I could feel my cheeks getting red. Freddie closed his eyes and started to lean. I felt myself leaning in too.

"Well, what do you know? Its Sam curfew" We heard Frankie say and pulled away quickly before we even kissed.

I swear to god I am going to kill him. "Can you give us a second?" I asked Frankie

"No" Frankie smirked

"I just want to say goodbye" I glared at him

"Fine. Goodbye Freddie." Frankie waved and stood there in the doorway

I turned back to Freddie. "Bye Freddie, I'll text you later." I kissed him on the cheek. I went over Frankie. "Move" and pushed him out of the way.

"That boy is crazy" I heard my mom said from the living room. I could tell she was drunk.

"What?" I asked her

"To like you. I mean who would like a fat whale like you?" She took another sip of her vodka.

I turned away from her and ran upstairs. "She didn't mean it Sam." I heard Frankie yell from downstairs.

I slammed my bedroom door. I couldn't take it anymore. I just cried and cried and cried. Only she could take my perfect night and ruin it. I looked at myself in the mirror. That's it. I am going to take drastic measure."

~*~

**How did you guys like it? This is my longest chapter yet in this story. I am so excited to hear what you think. So Please review.**


	5. It's Not As Bad As it Seems

**Hey guys sorry I haven't updated fast enough. I've been busy with starting my other stories, college, and watching the KCAs. BTW how cute did Jennette and Nathan cute hosting the dance off. Plus she looked gorgeous and Nathan looked hot. Anyway follow be on twitter and ask me questions on formspring even questions about the story, it's the same user name as this on. So in this chapter you see how Sam is acting different. And if you've been reading closely you see some of the symptoms. And I warn you in advance, the stuff that Sam says in the beginning of this chapter, I did and warn you not to do it. So I want to give shout out to people have reviewed. **

**NoToCreddieSeddieONLY**

**BugartheMage**

**mebelucy**

**SamLovesHam92**

**CrossFlavor**

**shadowgirl416**

**seddieisthecure**

**And ****xNomii**

**So on with the chapter.**

**I do not own iCarly, you get the point.**

**~*~**

**Sam's POV**

It's been three weeks since I started my new diet. I eat nothing in the mornings now. Freddie still tries to bring me breakfast though. I felt so guilty lying saying I was eating at home, so now I take what he gives me and give it to Gibby. Boy will eats anything. So anyway, at lunch I would eat a salad with no dressing and half a bottle of water. And for dinner it was completely different. so no one would noticed, one day I'll say I'm sick because someone dared me to lick a swing set or that I ate too much at lunch, another I would say I ate at Carly's, another I'll serve myself and make it look that I served myself a lot more than I actually did, I started to eat upstairs on trash days so I can dump my food in the waste bin and take it down. And finally, I pick fights with my mom or my Aunt Andrea so I would act upset and go up to my room without eating dinner. Plus volleyball helps a lot. I run twice as much as the other girls do. I also do a lot better than them. I mean my diet is not a big deal. People have done a lot worst.

But you're probably wondering about me and Fredweird. We actually have been on a couple of dates. They always go great. Well until he walks me home, and when we're about to kiss, my cousin walks out. Last time, he turned on the sprinklers on us. He's been ticking me off a lot by doing that. And my cousin never ticks me off. So he better not do it tonight.

~*~

"And that's why you shouldn't cut Gibby's hair with hedge clippers." I said as me and Carly threw the hedge clippers to the side.

"Poor Gibby" Carly laughed

"My hair. MY HAIR." Gibby said grabbing chunks of hair off the ground.

"Oh quit being so dramatic, it will grow back."

Carly got in front of me. "Well that's all the time we have for this iCarly."

"MY HAIR." We hear Gibby scream behind us. He got p and ran out of the studio.

I moved next to Carly as I pressed the boo button on my remote. "Aw, but don't worry, we'll be here next week."

"Until next time."

"Bye"

"Cya"

"Later"

"And we're clear. Great show you guys." Freddie put the camera down.

Thanks" Carly and I said at the same time.

We went downstairs to chill for a while. I saw Carly in the kitchen opening the fridge. My stomach was screaming '_Go eat some ham.' _But the back of my mind was screaming _'NO! You're a fat cow." _

"Sam… SAM!"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts

"I was saying" Carly said annoyed. "I got you a cupcake."

I looked at the cupcake in Carly's hand. _'Oh my goodness, that cupcake looks amazing. The icing looks so soft and crea….Hold on Sam, snap out of it.' _ I shook my head "No thanks Carls"

"Okay, more for me." Carly took a big bite of the amazing looking cupcake, "So, Freddie where are you taking Sam on your _date_?"

"Must you call it that" I shot a glare at Carly.

Freddie ignored my comment. "It's a surprise"

"I hate surprised Fredwad."

Freddie smirked "You'll like this one." He took my hand "Come on lets go" He said dragging me out the door.

~*~

At this point, Freddie has his hands covering my eyes. "Freddie where are you taking me."

"I told you already, it's a surprise" I could tell he was smirking.

"At least tell me if we're almost there."

Freddie stopped and took his hands off of my eyes. We were at the park. There were candles all over one of the picnic tables. "Wow Freddie, Hoe did you do all of this?" I was in awed.

"Eh, I got Gibby to help. Now take a seat" I did as I was told. "I know you have been doing what the doctor says to eat but…" Freddie takes out a plate of sliced ham from the picnic basket.

'_Uh-oh. Easy Sam, don't panic.'_ "Freddie, I don't think that's a good idea"

"Come on Sam, break a rule." He had his cute smile on his face.

"Okay" I took the plate of sliced ham. Suddenly I saw a shirtless almost bald Gibby coming out from behind a tree pretending to play the violin to prerecorded music. "So that's the real reason why Gibby left in a hurry." I chuckled

"Yeah" Freddie smiled "I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind for a while now." I took a bite of the ham. "So you know we've been on a couple of date right?" I nodded "And I feel that we've been getting closer. So I was wondering…"

"Just spill it out Fredward" I said with a mouth full of ham

"Willyoubemygirlfriend" I spit the ham that was in my mouth and landed on Gibby's stomach

"Gross Sam" I heard Gibby say

"What did you say?" I said looking at Freddie

Freddie grabbed my hands "Sam will you be my girlfriend?"

Without thinking, I jumper over the picnic table, knocking all the food off the table giving Freddie a hug. "Yes, yes, yes." I felt my phone vibrate. I didn't have to look at it to know it was my cousin texting me to come home. I grabbed Freddie's arm. "Come on, you have to get me home. Gibby cleanup" I scream as we started to run.

~*~

Thankfully the park was near my house. We got here in five minutes. So here we are walking up to my front door. "Thank you so much for tonight."

"Thank you for saying yes" Freddie smiled.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. Freddie out his hands on my waist and started to lean in. I heard the door open. "Frankie if you don't go inside now, I swear I'll get you back when you're sleeping." I said still looking into Freddie's dark brown eyes.

I heard the door close "Finally" Freddie crashed his lips on mine.

This was perfect. I can feel the electricity going through my body. But all of sudden, I feel shaky and dizzy. I shouldn't worry about it. It's probably just the kiss making weak, Either way, nothing can ruin this moment.

~*~

**How did you guys like it. Can you guys find what Sam's symptoms are and what she's doing to not eat? Don't forget to review with no flames. Next chapter, someone starts to notice Sam's new "diet" And also this is how I'm going to update my stories, I'm going to start my new story Hot to Save a Life, update iGuilty Pleasure, update iMessed Up, then update iLose. See ya next time guys. **


	6. iQuit

**Hey guys. This isn't a new chapter. I've actually decided to end this story. **

**Actually I decided to end ALL of my stories. Well the iCarly ones. **

**I'm just so sick of the drama. **

'**No it's going to be creddie' 'no it's going to be seddie' **

**It's so childish. And I'm DONE.**

**I love seddie but I just can't take it anymore.**

**I hope you guys fine a better story.**

**And if you haven't figured it out yet…**

**APRIL FOOLS**

**Haha don't kill me. Don't worry I'm still writing my stories :D**

**Don't be mad. **

**I'll update as soon as I can **


	7. It's All in my Head I Think

**Hey guys. Yeah I know it's been awhile, and you've been waiting for this chapter for a long time. Well here is it. I wanted to make this chapter longer than my other ones and I think I did my part. Now all you have to do it Review. But just to warn you, this chapter takes a curve ball. So get ready for the drama coming your way. **

**I do not own iCarly. The amazing Dan Schneider does.**

…

**Sam's P.O.V.**

Okay, so it's been a month since Freddie and I became boyfriend and girlfriend. And let me tell you, it's been the best month of my life. He is so sweet. Frankie and Freddie actually get along. Freddie's been over my house for dinner a couple of times. It always went great… well my Mom would always as Freddie what he saw in me? I never showed it always upset me, but Freddie always made me feel better. He would kiss my cheek and whisper sweet things in my ear. I also ate at Freddie's house. Mrs. Benson actually trusted me dating her son. Well after a really weird interview that lasted six hours. I mean come on, that women is nuts. Who does an interview for SIX HOURS? I was trying so hard not to smack her the whole time.

As for my diet. Well I think I'm getting worst. Instead of getting skinnier, I feel myself getting fatter. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm bigger than the world's fattest priest. I feel like I'm the ugliest person on the face of the earth. I wear sweats and hoodies so no one can see my fat hanging put. I hate this feeling. I can't remember when it got this bad. How can someone feel so miserable, when life outside my house was so perfect? Maybe my mom had a point. What does Freddie in a fat lard like me?

Anyways, I'm over a Freddie's house. We were on his bed studying. Yeah I know right? Me, Sam Puckett studying. But I actually need a good to stay on the volleyball team. So Freddie's been helping me out a lot. Plus he kisses me when I get the answers right.

"So what does X equal?" Freddie asked as he was lying down on his bed.

"Um… 6?" Shoot I really hope I got that right. I'm already fat; I don't want Freddie thinking I'm fat and stupid.

"Right. Good job Sam." Freddie smiled at me. He sat up and gave me a peck on my lips. I love his small gentle kisses. "So I wanted to ask you something"

"Okay, shoot" I smiled

Freddie got out of bed and went to grab something from under his bed. He got out a bouquet of white lilies. Aw, he remembered my favorite flowers. "Will you go to the homecoming dance with me?" He said handing me the flowers.

I was shocked. I had forgotten all about the dance. I smiled big. "Yes" I wrapped arms around him and hugged him tight.

We heard a knock at Freddie's bedroom door. "Fredward, Samantha." Mrs. Benson came in. "I was wondering if you guys wanted a little snack?"

"Sur…."

I cut him off. "Not for me Mrs. B. I ate a lot for lunch."

"Okay. Study hard then." Mrs. Benson walked out of the room.

Freddie turned to me "Sam, what was that about?"

"What?" I said confused.

"Sam you barely ate anything for lunch. Why did you lit to my mom and told her you had a lot for lunch?"

My eyes widen for a second. Oh crab. Please, dear god, don't let him find out. Come on Sam, you're the best liar around. "Freddork, I don't want to eat your mother's healthy chiz."

"Wait, I thought you were supposed to be eating healthy?"

CHAB! Think fast Sam. "I guess I'm not use to her being nice to me yet." I kissed Freddie on the cheek. "Because I…" I kissed his nose. "Don't deserve you." I planted a kiss on his lips. It didn't take long for Freddie to kiss me back. There we are, making out on his bad. I know it's wrong that I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, but Freddie will freak out about my diet.

…

"Sam, try this black one on." Carly handed me a short black dress with a sweetheart bust and a leather belt." **(Picture is on my profile)**

"Carly, I don't want to wear this. I'll feel huge in it." I said as I walked into the dressing room.

"Okay first of all, black is slimming. Second of all, you're far from huge. You're skinnier than me. And maybe, this just my imagination, but I think you're actually losing a lot of weight."

Mt eye widen. I can't risk being caught. "Yeah Carls, it must be your imagination." I laughed nervously as zipped up the dress. I buckled the belt. "I'm coming out Carls." I opened the door and walked to the giant mirror. "So what do you think?" Carly still hasn't said anything. "That's it, I'm changing. I knew this…" As I was walking back to my dressing room, I felt a pull on my arm, making me stand back in front of the mirror.

"Don't you dare change. Sam you look gorgeous. You will have Freddie drooling over you all night."

I moved a strand of hair behind my ear. "You really think so?"

Carly turn me to face her "Sam, I know so. So we're getting this dress."

I smiled, but when I got a look at the price, my smile fell. "Oh holy chiz on a chizzle. Carly, I can't afford this and shoes."

"Sam calm down. You know the heals I wore to Wendy's party this summer?" **(Picture on my profile)**

"The black, huge platform ones, with the billions of straps? Yeah I remember. I remember you complained on how tight they were on you, what's you point?"

"My point is, you can still buy this dress. I'll let you have those heals. Sam they would look perfect with this dress."

"Wait, wait, wait. _Have?_" I was so confused. Well every time Carly starts speaking fast she confuses me.

"Yes _have_. I'm never going to wear those things again. And they will fit you like a glove." Carly said with excitement.

"But wait. We have the same size feet. How do you know they will fit?"

"True, but I have wider feet than you. Which is why they bothered me. You on the other hand, have skinnier feet than me. Meaning it will fit you."

Yeah right Carly. Nothing about me is skinny. "But wait…"

"Stop saying but wait." Dang calm down Carls.

"I still won't have enough to get my hair and everything done. I really want to look special for Freddie." I smiles thinking about Freddie.

"Don't worry. I'll help you get ready. I'll do your hair, make-up, nails, _everything._" Carly smiled. She really is a great friend.

I sighed "Fine Carls. I'll get the darn dress."

"Yay!" she said jumping up and down. "Now go get changed so we can pay for it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I said walking back to the dressing room. Thanks so much 'Never 81' for taking all of my money. **(Never 81 is like Forever 21 only more expensive)**

**Carly's P.O.V.**

I watched Sam walk back into her dressing room. She's been acting so weird lately. First she's eating healthy lately, then she joins a sport, which we all know she hates people. She's wearing huge clothing. She's barely eating anything, and now she's thinking she's fat. If anything, she's getting too skinny. Maybe it's because we haven't been hanging out lately. Well at least volleyball season is over for Sam. So I can just tell Chris I want to spend more time with Sam and Freddie. He'll understand. "Sam, are you done?"

Sam came out holding her homecoming dress. "Yeah. Let's just pay for this chiz."

…

**Sam's P.O.V.**

This is it, Homecoming night. And here I was, in Carly's room, as she applied one last coat of lip gloss on me. I hated getting all dolled up. But I wanted to do this for Freddie. "Carly, are you almost done?" I grunted. I've been here I swear all day. First she did my nails in French tip with black tips. Then she tweezed my eye brows, which by the way hurt more than waxing may I add. Then she did my hair. **(Picture on my profile)** Its kind wavy, curly, and straight at once. The thing I didn't like was all that hair spray chiz. Plus she almost poked my eye out. Dang mascara. "I'll say it again, ARE. YOU. ALMOST. DONE?"

"YES!" She put the lip gloss in my clutch. "I'm done."

"Thank you."

"Carly, Sam, the guys are here." We heard Spencer yelled from downstairs.

"In a minute." Carly yelled back "Okay, I'm going down first and when you hear me cough, you come down, Kay?"

I rolled my eyes "Fine" I said as I put a pair of diamond studded earring on. "Go on Miss. Shay, I'll see ya in a sec"

Carly exited her room and I followed behind her. Carly made her way downstairs. "Wow Carly, you look amazing." I heard Carly's date Chris tell her.

"Thank you" Carly said back

All of a sudden, I felt very dizzy and something in the pit of my stomach. I think I'm just nervous, "Hey Carly, where's Sam." I heard Freddie asked.

"Oh she'll be down in a sec." Carly said then did a simple cough. I knew that was my queue.

As I start walking downstairs, I see everyone's heads turn to my directions. But as soon as I see Freddie, he is the only person in the room in my eyes. And he just looks at me as if time stopped.

I reached the bottom of the stairs. Freddie walked over to me and gave me a kiss on my cheek. "You look stunning." He whispered in my ear.

I can't help but blush. "You are such a dork" I chuckled.

"Quit the flirting, let's get to the dance." Carly said as she pulled us towards the door.

"Wait" Spencer stopped us. "This a picture moment."

I just rolled my eyes. "Hurry up Spence."

"Coming." Spencer comes back with his camera. "Say bleu cheese."

"Bleu cheese" We all said at once.

"AHHHHHHH! I took the picture in the wrong way and now I'm blind." Spencer turned the camera around and took our picture.

…

We arrived at the dance. I was very dizzy at this point. Stupid heat.

After a few fast and slow songs of dancing, Freddie and I went to the snack table. The smell of the food made my stomach grumble, and made me sick at the same time. I took a big gulp of my water bottle. I turned to Freddie. "Can we go out to the hallway? It's really hot and I'm feeling dizzy."

"Sure" Freddie put his arm around my waist as we walked into the hallway.

"That feels way better." I said fanning my face.

"Yeah" I saw Freddie hiding something behind his back.

"What's behind your back nerd linger" **(This line is from my favorite show Kim Possible, if you can tell me who said it, I will make you a character in this story.)**

"Oh. I just grabbed the last cupcake for you." There he goes again with his million dollar smile.

"Oh… thanks." I faked a smiled and grabbed the cupcake from his hands. "Hey can you wait for me inside the gym? I have to go to the bathroom."

"Sure" Freddie gave me a peck on my lips and headed back into the gym.

After a few seconds, I walked to the trash can and threw the cupcake away.

"Sam? What are you doing?" I swear my heart literally stopped.

…

**OH. EM. GEE. CLIFFY. I wonder who caught Sam? Oh yeah, I know. I am so evil. So don't forget to review AND figure out who said Nerd Linger in Kim Possible. The first person to get it right will be featured in my next chapter. Also follow me on twitter kpfan72491. Until next time. Peace, Love, & Seddie**


	8. What Is The Matter With Me?

**Hey guys. Sorry it took me awhile to update. I've been pretty busy. I started a new story; I hope you get the time to read it. Anyway I wanted to say the winner on the contest I gave in the last chapter… Karlarockangel was the first to get it right. The answer was Shego. It was seeing the guesses fun. I also want to thank you for the very sweet number of reviews. They make me so happy. If you guys get me up to 50 reviews for this chapter, I will update this story before I update iMessed Up. And trust me, how this chapter ends, you would want to get it early. So suggest this story to friend and tell them to review. So I hope you enjoy the chapter. Remember to Review with flames. **

**And once again… I do not own iCarly. BUT, I do own a pair of the cutest Juicy Couture boots… man I miss winter. Enjoy the show**

…

**Sam's POV**

My eyes widen. The voice scared me the second I heard it come from behind me. I slowly turned around, trying to think of what I was going to say. "I-I didn't know you were still her." I laughed nervously.

I saw the look on Freddie's face. He was NOT happy. "Sam, I asked you a question. Now answer it.

I was so nervous. I didn't know what I was going to say. All I knew is that was, whatever I was going to say next, it would come out as word vomit. "I was just throwing away the cupcake away." See word vomit.

Freddie stepped closer. "Yeah, I can see that. Why did you?"

This should be fun to watch. "Well you see, you know how Germy came walking back into the gym after you?"

Freddie nodded "Yeah?"

"Well that gross potato said 'Hi' then sneezed on it. I couldn't just eat it, could I?" See more things I pulling out of my butt as I go along.

Freddie sighed with relief "Okay good. I thought you were sick or something."

I chuckled "Nah. But I think I'm ready to go."

"Already?"

"Yeah well, I just want to spend some time with you." I faked a smile.

"Okay" Freddie said as he grabbed my hand.

Oh my gosh. I have to be careful. If anyone catches me, they're going to think I have a problem.

…

Last night, after the dance was completely awkward for me. I was lucky that we made it all the way to my house without asking questions that would get me caught. When he kissed me good night, I felt so relieved and light headed. Freddie's kisses always did that to me.

Anyways, I woke up this morning I woke up to go on my daily run. I was putting my sweats on when I heard my cell phone ring. Carly had called me to see if I wanted to hang out. I told her that I was about to go on a run but that she could join me. She's been feeling bad that she hasn't been spending enough time with me. Sam old Carly, always over thinking things.

So here I was, running with Carly through Seattle. You probably would be thinking that I was having a blast with my best friend right? Well… you're wrong. Here I was, trying to run really fast to get this weight off wearing a hoodie and sweat pants. And do you know what Carly is doing? She was complaining for me to slow down. And do to want to know what she's wearing? She'd wearing a sport bra and yoga pants. I mean, does she have to remind me every second that she is skinnier than me.

"Sam" Carly said breathlessly. "Slow down… we're doing this… to spend time… together."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, but I can't help that I'm faster than you."

"Sam, just a tiny bit"

"Fine" I growled. Just out of nowhere, someone bumps into me.

"Oh my goodness" The person who bumped into me said. She was this skinny brunette Bambi Doll wannabe.

I could feel myself getting angry. "What the HELL is wrong with you?" I don't know why I was so angry. It wasn't even her fault. "You think, because you skinny and pretty, that you can just run into anyone who isn't skinny or pretty."

"What?" the girl said back confused.

"Sam, calm down." I heard Carly say.

"Take her side Carly. I don't care" I yelled in her face. "I'll see you tonight for iCarly." I had to get out of there. I don't know what was going on with me. But I knew I didn't like it. So I just ran home. I needed to figure out what was wrong with me.

…

I spent all day in my room. I know I could be an angry before this diet, but I don't think I ever yelled at Carly for no reason. What is wrong with me?

Carly and Freddie were calling me all day. I didn't feel like taking. I just needed to think. They wouldn't understand.

So it was almost iCarly time. I was heading up to the studios. As I walked in, Carly came running towards me. "Sam, why haven't you been answering our phone calls?"

By this point, my head was pounding. I was about to burst. "DAMN IT CARLY" I put my hand on my forehead. "Have you ever listened to yourself? Your nagging is so annoying. But you really want to know why I didn't answer the calls? It was because when my mom made lunch and I ate it and I got sick to my stomach. So I went upstairs and took a nap and didn't have my cell phone with me because I left it downstairs." Wow! Lie after lie now?

Carly frowned "Sam I'm sorry. I was just worried after what happened during our run. I just wanted to be a good friend" Carly started to tear up. Great! I am such a horrible friend. I lie to her and make her cry.

I wrapped my arms around her. "Carls, please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."

"Guys, one minute till show." Freddie told us.

"You okay?" I asked Carly.

She nodded. "Yeah. Let's start the show." Carly smiled.

We walked over to in front of the camera. Freddie started to count down. "In 5, 4, 3, 2"

"Je suis Carly"

"Je suis Sam"

"And this iCarly" We said at the same time.

"We see London, we see France." Carly joked

"We see Freddork anti-bacterial underpants." I saw Freddie roll his eyes at my comment.

Carly stepped in front of me. "Okay. So we're going to be answering your questions via webcam."

"First question Freddo"

Freddie pressed a couple of buttons on his laptop. "Karla's on the monitor."

"Hey Karla" Carly smiled. "What's your question?"

"My question is for Sam. Sam, why are you wearing baggy clothes all of the time now? Plus you're very skinny. You look sick."

Oh no, why is the room spinning? Why can't I feel my legs?

**General POV**

Sam started to look really sick. In no time, Sam was lying in the floor.

"Sam" Carly yelled in a panic.

Freddie turned the camera to himself. "Sorry guys but it looks like we have to cut this iCarly short. Bye viewers." Freddie turned the camera off and ran to Sam's side. "Is she okay?" Freddie asked Carly.

"I don't know help carry her to my room."

"Okay" Freddie picked Sam up bridal style. Freddie hoped everything was okay.

**Sam's POV**

Man my head was throbbing. "Sam" I heard someone call my name.

I opened my eyes to find Carly and Freddie staring at me. I sat up rubbing my temple. "Ugh… What happened?"

"You fainted in the middle of the shoe." I heard Freddie say. My vision was still blurry.

"Oh" What else could I say? Sorry I ruined the webcast?

"Sam, are you okay?" Carly asked

"Yeah, I guess I'm still a little sick from earlier."

"Hey, I'll be right back" Freddie said as he left the room.

"You really scared me Sam." Carly said as she hugged me.

I hugged her back. "I know. I'm sorry."

Right then, Freddie came back in the room. "Hey I have to go."

"Why?" Carly asked.

"I have to go help out a friend." He went over to me and gave me a kiss on the lips. "I'll talk to you later." He smiled and walked out.

I don't know why, but Freddie is up to something.

…

Spencer just dropped me off at my house. He and Carly didn't want me to walk home alone… well or at all. I waved them goodbye as I walked into my house. "Frankie, I'm home." I walked into the living room. My heart stopped. I saw Freddie sitting next to Frankie.

"Sam, we have to talk." Frankie spoke.

I knew what was coming. Even if I was prepare or wanted it to happen.

…

**OMG, another cliffy :D. How did you like it? Why is Freddie there? Did they figure out what Sam has been doing? Well to find you, you know what you have to do. Make me reach 50 reviews :D. Don't forget to follow me on twitter Kpfan72491.**


	9. You Need Help

**Hey guys, Sorry I haven't updated. I was going to update early but by the time I hit 50 reviewers, I was already done the next chapter of iMessed Up. But no worries, I'll do another some soon. Another reason was because of my wrist. I'm actually typing through the pain right now. This is my second time typing this because my computer froze and deleted it halfway being done. But it's a good thing I write all of my stories before I type. Also, I've been really depressed because my friend passed away a couple of weeks ago. **

**Another thing, I've been told that I'm writing like a 5****th**** grader. If I am, then I sorry. However, I don't think that I do. If you don't like my stories, then here's a simple solution… Don't read them. I'm not forcing anyone to read my stories. But I am very grateful for my readers. Your reviews make me want to write more. If you like this story then please read my new story "Wish On A Star". Anyway, you guys have been waiting for this chapter for a long time. So review with no flame.**

**I do NOT own iCarly.**

…

**Sam POV**

This is it, I am totally screwed. I hope god can help me lie my way out of this. "Uh… about what Frankie?" Great Sam, way to sound more nervous.

Frankie stood up from the couch. "Sam, you have a problem"

I laughed nervously "No I don't. And what does Freddie have to with any of this?"

"He's the one who brought this problem to my attention." As Frankie said that, Freddie looked up with sadness in his eyes. I know I have failed him.

However, that didn't stop me from being mad at him. "_What _problem." I glared at Freddie. "You keep mentioning this 'problem'"

"Your eating disorder" Freddie said quietly.

Eating disorder? What the hell are these two idiots talking about? I'm on a diet. I don't have an eating disorder. "What the hell? I don't have an eating disorder."

"Sam, I looked up the symptoms up online, you lie about eating."

"No, I don't"

"Sam, you told me and Carly that your doctor told you to eat healthier, but you never went to the doctors. You lie about saying that you eat breakfast at home but you tell Frankie that _I_ always bring you food. You are constantly working out…"

"To keep in shape" I interrupted.

"Sam let him finish" Frankie said to me.

Freddie continued. "You constantly find yourself ways not to eat."

"That is so not true"

"On our first date, you threw the popcorn. You give Gibby the food I bring you at times, and yes I know about that. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, you knocked over the food. At lunch lately you have been saying that you have had a big breakfast so you wouldn't eat lunch. You even lied to my mother saying that you had a big lunch, and then you tell me that you didn't like her cooking. And then there's the dance. You told me that Germy sneezed on your cupcakes, but when I talked to him, he told me he didn't even speak to you."

"And this goes on at home too." Frankie spoke. "You purposely get into fights with Aunt Sarah so you would go to bed without eating dinner."

"Do you know how stupid you two sound?" I yelled.

Freddie stood up. 'You temper is another thing that has to deal with this. It's a symptom. Carly told me about what happened during your run."

"I have always been angry"

"Not how Carly described it. And you even fainted tonight on iCarly."

"I told you already that…"

"Sam, your mom isn't even home. She's out of town. So your mom couldn't have made you sick."

I have never felt more hurt and attacked in my life. "It's just a diet. It's no big deal you bunch of babies."

"Sam you're killing yourself" Freddie said walking over to me.

"This is all YOUR fault" I yelled at Freddie. "You just couldn't let it go?" Tears started running down my face. "You were supposed to be happy. I was going to be skinny. I was going to be skinny like Carly." I yelled.

"Sam, I don't care about Carly." Freddie said looking into my eyes.

"I just couldn't face him. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "No, I'm fat and she's skinny." I started to cry harder.

Freddie grabbed my shoulders. "Sam, I love you and only you. And you're far from fat, you're perfect." Freddie eyes started to tear up. He put his hand on my cheeks and kissed me softly. "Sam, I love you so much. I don't want to see you hurting yourself." Freddie said pulling me into a tight hug.

"No, no, NO!" I pushed Freddie away and slapped him. "If you loved me, you would have let me do this." I stepped away from Freddie. "We're over, you hurt me. You betrayed me. I never want to see you again Benson." I turned away and ran upstairs. 

I went to my room and locked the door. How could they do this to me? I don't have a problem. See, this is why I kept this a secret. I knew they wouldn't understand. I hate them, I hate all of them.

I just sank to the floor. My world is crashing around me. I can just feel it. It's crumbling and I can't stop it.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Frankie and Freddie had entered my room. My eyes stare up towards them. "How the hell did you get in my room" I yelled.

Frankie took a step forward toward me. "You forgot that I was the one who taught you how to pick a lock."

"And I thanked you for that; now get out." I pointed to the door.

Frankie sighed. "Sam you need help"

"No, what I need is to be alone. So get out Frankie." I saw Freddie standing behind him. "And _you_. I thought I told you that I never want to see you again." I said yelling at Freddie.

Freddie started to walk towards me. "I'm not going to leave you."

I stood up and started to pace. I can't deal with this right now. "Just get out" I said quietly.

"I'm not leaving" Why the hell does Freddie have to be so damn difficult and hardheaded.

I smirked. "Fine" I walked to my closet. "Then you don't mind helping me with your stuff." I took out a couple of clothes out of my closet. "Take your shirts and hoodie" I threw them towards him. I walked over to my desk and threw a hug box set at him but he ducked. "Take back your stupid Galaxy Wars DVDs."

"Sam stop doing this." Freddie yelled

I just ignored his demands. "And finally take this" I went under my bed and took out a big hardcover photo album. "I don't want any memories of you." And with all the strength in my body, I threw it at Freddie's head.

I watched Freddie go down to the ground and my heart sank. Frankie kneeled down as I ran towards Freddie and got on the ground next to him. I had tears running down my face for what felt like the millionth time tonight. I just keep hurting the people who care about me. I was just angry; I didn't want to hurt him.

Freddie's forehead was turning red and the corner of his eye was bleeding. Must have been from the corner of the album. "Freddie wake up" He didn't' respond. I put my hands on his cheeks and started wiping the blood with my thumb. "Please, I'm so sorry, we're not over. I didn't mean it. I promise I'll get help." Still nothing. I turned to Frankie. "Bring me and ice pack and those butterfly band aids." **(A/N: yes they are really called that)**

"Kay," Frankie got up and headed downstairs.

I looked back down at Freddie. I felt horrible. I know I need help. "Freddie please wake up" I sniffed. I hear Frankie enter the room. He hands me the ice pack and the first aid kit. I wiped the blood away with the alcohol wipe and put the white butterfly band aid on it. I put a cloth around the ice pack and felt someone grab my hand. I look and see it was Freddie. A smile grew on my face. "Oh my gosh Freddie"

Freddie sat up and rubbed his head. "What happened?"

I placed the ice pack on his forehead. "I am so sorry. I got mad and threw the photo album at your head. I didn't want to hurt you." Oh great, more tears.

"Sam, you need help." Freddie said putting his hands on my cheeks.

I nodded as my eyes started to water. "Okay" I said quietly.

Frankie walked to us. "I'll get the phonebook."

I knew my life was about to change… again.

…

**How did you guys like it? Dramatic right? Well don't worry, it's far from over. Just because Sam is going to get help, doesn't mean more problems won't come into her life. I was actually going to make this chapter longer but thought it would be better to end the chapter there. Well keep reviewing and follow me on twitter Kpfan72491. And don't forget to read "Wish On A Star". Well until next time.**


	10. Turkey Day

**Hey guys. I am SO sorry that it took me this long to update. I just got so wrapped up on WOAS and had a huge writers block. Also I've been very busy. I had the idea for this chapter since July, I wrote the first 2 pages of it in July, so it's just ironic that its Thanksgiving tomorrow. Remember to review with now flames. Also thank you guys for the very sweet reviews :)**

**I do not own iCarly. And EstefyO owns Dolores. (If you know Spanish, you know the irony)**

**.~ * ~.**

**Sam POV**

Okay, so it's been 3 weeks since the little intervention, and let me just say, it has been dreadful. Not only did my mom still call me fat, (we decided not to tell her about my little "problem"), but I couldn't do anything about it. Freddie and Frankie were watching me like a hawk. First week they had to force feed me. The second week when I wouldn't eat all of my food at school or at Carly's, Freddie would say 'Sam, aren't you going to finish you food?' and I would argue back with 'Freddie, I'm _full_' Then he would say that he'll double F. Which is codename for force feed. Now I don't question their reasons, I just do it.

I also have been going to therapy and group sessions with people with the same problem. Some of these people had it more rough than me. A couple of people had to go to rehab for it. My therapist is really nice. Our first session, I didn't talk, but now I'm glad to talk to her three times a week. She has given me great advice. She told me that I shouldn't tell anyone for awhile, because as soon as it's out, people will look at me differently. And I know she's right. Freddie treats me differently. He watches his words, like make sure he doesn't call me fat. I had to let him know that it was my mother's doing, not him. Dr. Campian thinks I'm improving. But she also informed me that I'll be fighting this my while life. It's just like a drug. She has me keeping a food journal. And since today is Thanksgiving, she will want a full report.

So here I was, helping Frankie set the table. "You know Sammy, I am proud of you" he said smiling at me.

I smiled back. "Thanks"

"Now Sam, I'm going to let you go to Freddie's, but you have to eat half of what you normally eat here and the other half for when you go to Freddie's, and he'll tell me if you didn't eat enough."

"Whatever" I rolled my eyes.

**. ~ * ~ .**

Frankie told me I could leave around 6. Frankie let me leave early so I could get there on time. I'm in the elevator, on my way up to his apartment. The elevator doors open and I walk out. I walk down the hallway and turn the corner to Freddie's door. I knocked on the door. I chuckled hearing Freddie yelling at Crazy to not embarrass him.

Freddie opens the door _trying _to act cool. "Well hello there, Sammy."

I laughed, taking off my coat. "Don't call me Sammy, Casa-no-duh" I said shoving my coat to his chest. "Hang this up" walking past him.

I walked into the living room/dining room and see Freddie's Mom in the kitchen. She pokes her head out the door. "Hello Samantha, Happy Thanksgiving"

I smiled at her. The least I can do is be nice. "Happy Thanksgiving Mrs. Benson"

As she walked back into the kitchen, I felt Freddie's arms wrap around my waist, standing behind me. "I'm so glad you could come" he said turning my around and placing a kiss on my cheek. "It gets quiet here around the holidays. Plus I want my grandmother to meet you." My eyes widen. Seems like he understood what I was thinking. "Don't worry; she's not crazy like my mom."

I sigh with relief "Thank goodness" I smiled.

I spot this elderly women walking out of the kitchen. I'm assuming this is Freddie's grandma. "Freddie, your crazy mother told me to tell you that dinner is ready." She looked to me and smiled. "You must be Sam. Freddie has told me so much about you" I blushed looking at Freddie. "He told me you were beautiful, but never _this_ beautiful." Is it possible to get any redder?

"Thank you… Freddie grandma"

She walked over to me and grabbed my hand. "Please, Call me Dolores" she said dragging me to the dining room table. Thos will be a … interesting night.

**. ~ * ~ .**

"Would you like another piece of pumpkin pie, Sam?" Dolores asked.

I smiles" Three slices are my limit" I laughed.

Tonight went amazing. I was laughing so hard at Freddie grandma's stories, that I didn't notice I was eating like I use to. I felt how I use to.

"Well it's getting late, I should get going" I said getting up.

"I'll walk you home." Freddie said as he grabbed out coats.

"Be careful Freddiebear"

I snickered as I heard my boyfriend groan.

Freddie grabbed my arm, pulling me out the door. "Come on, Giggles"

**. ~ * ~ .**

"I'm shocked that went well" I smiles as we walked.

Freddie chuckled as he grabs my hand. "I know. And you know what? I'm proud of you"

Why does everyone keep saying that? What does he mean by it? "For what?" I asked

"You're acting like your old self"

I raised my brow. "My _old_ self? Sorry that I've changed."

"Sam I didn't mean I like that." He said as we walked up to my door.

I sighed "I know, I guess it's still something I need to get use to. I'll call you tomorrow." I smiles up at him.

He bent down and gave me a soft gentle kiss on the lips. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "I love you"

"I love you too" I opened my front door. "Bye"

I walk inside all smiley. I guess Freddie is tight, I'm starting to be like how I use to me again. I start walking upstairs when I hear my mom.

"Why the fuck are you here so late?" she yelled

I turned around to face her. "Sorry, I lost track of time."

"I don't care, next time you call me."

I rolled my eyes, walking upstairs. "Yeah, that will happen"

I felt a pain shoot through my arms and legs. "Don't talk back you piece of shit." My mom just kept hitting me and hitting me. The only thing I could do was cover my face and try not to cry.

When I got the chance, I ran to my room. I could hear her running after me. I quickly locked my door.

I sank to the floor. I couldn't take this. I saw a blanket on my floor and placed it in my mouth. I grabbed a pen from backpack. I lifted up the sleeve my shirt. I need this pain to stop. So I did it. I bit down hard on the blanket but my screams could still be heard.

As I saw some blood coming down my arm, for a moment, I felt relieved."

**. ~ * ~ .**

**How did you guys like it? Let me just say, Sam did not try to kill herself. It's a form of cutting that won't be noticeable. And no, she isn't a cutter, but that scene is important. So please review and have a safe thanksgiving. Happy Turkey Day :)**


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